If you've watched or listened to the Power Of Leather podcast, you're aware that I confronted a long-standing fear.
If you haven't yet, here's the spoiler: I did it in under an hour—specifically, in 59 minutes.
When I finished, I was so thrilled and excited that the first thing I wanted to do was write to my mentor, a physiotherapist, saying, "I did it!" and, moreover, in less than an hour!
It was his achievement too. Without him, I wouldn't have been able to do it, both physically and mentally. He believed in me and equipped me with the right mindset.
He quickly responded that it was fantastic, and I genuinely sensed that he was happy as well.
I sat on the grass catching my breath, relishing a bit of sun that was quite an unexpected surprise as the weather forecast had predicted rain for the entire weekend. I stretched my legs a little and absorbed the positive atmosphere around me with loud music and chatting people who, like me, had a sense of accomplishment.
I reread a message from my physiotherapist, and it suddenly instilled a sense of accountability in me.
In that moment, I realized how important it is to have someone who not only supports you but also encourages you when you feel you can't. Someone who accompanies you through your challenges and celebrates your success at the end. A person you want to write to when you accomplish the first step, and who sends you a "bravo" when you reach or even exceed your objective.
We all need a Mentor, Coach, or Supporter who believes we can when we are not sure about ourselves.
And then, of course, I was thinking about people who don't dare to wear leather, and it reminded me of ME. I also didn't dare, and it put me on the sidelines where one can hardly find a truly happy and fulfilled life.
In my culture, people have always faced tough situations, problems, and challenges independently. I was raised with this mindset as well. I vividly recall my mom advising me when I was young not to burden others with tasks I could handle myself.
Naturally, I was capable of doing things on my own, but it often took me twice or even three times as long, and I never really sensed the feeling of accomplishment.
If we really want to, we eventually reach our goals, but with a coach or mentor, we get there faster.
No one can create our life for us. We must create the life we desire ourselves.
However, with support along the way, the creation process accelerates and becomes even more enjoyable.
My motto in life is: to make it as enjoyable as possible. That's why I chose to support those who struggle to dare to wear leather, helping them just as I was helped.... with accountability or anything else that you need to arrive where you want to be.
How can I support those who don't dare?
What steps can I take to help people overcome their fear of wearing leather?
How can I effectively challenge stereotypes and inspire individuals to adopt a mindset that allows them to enjoy a more leather-filled life?
Having a mentor or a coach can significantly enhance your accountability in ways that self-accountability often falls short. Here's why it's important:
1. External Perspective and Objectivity:
Unbiased Feedback: Mentors and coaches can provide an objective perspective on your goals, actions, and progress, without the biases you might have about yourself.
Identifying Blind Spots: They can help you see patterns or behaviors that are hindering your progress, which you might not be aware of.
2. Structured Support and Framework:
Goal Setting and Clarity: They can help you define clear, measurable, achievable, relevant, and time-bound (SMART) goals, which are crucial for effective accountability.
Action Planning: They can assist in breaking down large goals into smaller, manageable steps and developing a concrete action plan.
3. Increased Motivation and Commitment:
External Expectation: Knowing that you have to report your progress (or lack thereof) to someone else creates a sense of external expectation, which can be a strong motivator to stay on track.
Celebrating Wins: They also acknowledge and celebrate your successes, reinforcing positive behaviors and building momentum.
4. Expertise and Guidance:
Drawing on Experience: Mentors share their own experiences and insights, offering valuable guidance on how to navigate challenges and achieve your goals.
Skill Development: Coaches often have specific expertise in areas like leadership, productivity, or communication, and they can provide tools and techniques to improve your skills and effectiveness.
5. Dedicated Time and Attention:
Focused Conversations: The dedicated time you spend with a mentor or coach allows for focused conversations about your goals and progress, free from the distractions of daily life.
Prioritization: Having a scheduled appointment to discuss your accountability helps you prioritize your goals and ensures they don't get pushed aside by more immediate but less important tasks.
6. Increased Self-Awareness:
Reflective Questions: Mentors and coaches often ask powerful questions that encourage self-reflection and help you gain a deeper understanding of your motivations, strengths, and weaknesses.
Identifying Limiting Beliefs: They can help you identify and challenge limiting beliefs that might be holding you back from achieving your full potential.
In essence, a mentor or coach acts as an accountability partner who provides structure, support, expertise, and an external perspective to help you stay committed to your goals and achieve them more effectively than you might on your own. They provide the push and guidance needed to overcome procrastination, stay focused, and ultimately reach your desired outcomes.
AND
Life is change. And change takes courage—especially the courage to leave your comfort zone.That decision, however, is one only I can make for myself.
For some, wearing leather in public feels completely natural. For others, it’s a lifelong yearning. And again—it’s a decision only we can make for ourselves. After all, everyone has their own personal definition of what it means to be brave.
I often wonder why I didn’t hesitate for a second when my company offered me the chance to live and work abroad for seven years, in a faraway country and unfamiliar culture. Yet walking through town in leather pants took an enormous amount of courage.
Overcoming emotional barriers and stepping into something new becomes so much…